[[*...pOOh..eeu..n mi...*]]

Monday, March 31, 2008

pretty pretty sight.amazing companion. =)

i deleted a whole post.too mushy.no no.hahah.

i TRIED doing my assignments today.plus publishing,office work.

i cant focus.i cant focus.

it all went back to where it shouldn't go.

now,can you hurry with the meeting?

Beary Hugzzz @ |10:18 PM|

Sunday, March 30, 2008

now that im online.i dont know what to write on.

everything is going on fine.

work.as usual,busy.hectic at times.but everythings fine.

interviews make it busy these few days.i still cant see myself working with anyone that comes for the interviews.haizz.

it takes alot of getting used to.i know.and i dont have a choice.

Friday.we went somewhere to find peace.to spend time together,casting work aside.but it was only about ten pm do we have that peace.heh.

pretty place.my first time there.theres always a first time for everything.and there,it was a fresh start.theres no used-to-bes.no past memories that hurt.

and yesterday.Bugis in the morning to get some stuffs before someone had to go Batam.stayed up alone in the office till afternoon before Sya came and we left to get mummy's dress and then to town and slack.supposed to go Harbourfront/Vivo,but oh well,nvm.

tomorrow's going to be a long day.with interviews extending till night.but Tues onwards will be better days,i hope.

someone's asking me out on a date right infront of him.how interesting. =)

to you,thank you for being who you are.

Beary Hugzzz @ |2:33 PM|

Sunday, March 23, 2008

so it has happened.

i'm still in a state of..i don't know.i don't know how it happened.how it can happen.it doesn't seem possible.

but it happened.and we're just letting nature take its course.we tried getting away,but we know we cant run away from what has been destined.

office in the morning till afternoon yesterday.before we went off to meet Sya and her sis and spend the time at Vivo.

its nice to see you darling.meet up again soon ya. =)

and Sharifah called to meet up while we're having lunch.its been times and again i postponed our meet-up.you know how my life is now.sorry sweets.some other time ya?(again!)

supposed to go for the family get-together at ECP organised by daddy's organisation today.they already went off early in the morning.i am tired.and thinking of the pending work,i dont have the mood to go.and daddy,amazingly,didnt force me to come along. ;)

and did i tell you my finger got stapled a couple of days ago in the office while talking to a client.hahah.i dont even realize it happened.and i didnt know i have so much blood that both my palms were bloody from two pathetic holes.it does hurt a lil.bisa because the staple was in my flesh for about an hour.haha.and no,he wasnt there.so when he get to know about it,he went frantic.and was rambling on how it all happened when he just left me for a short while in the office.hahah.

ok now im talking too much.i should just shut up and start working.

what happened has happened.i dont want to regret anything.perhaps,i'm even happy at what has happened.you dont have to worry about me,and my feelings.i took the risk to get hurt.not that its my first anyway.

i still do believe that everything happen for a reason.at the end of the day,insyaAllah,what i'll get will be the best for me. =)

Beary Hugzzz @ |11:00 AM|

Friday, March 21, 2008

many things have been happening.but at the end of the day,all i have to do is look on the bright side.there'll be someone,always.

thanks for de sends home.thanks for all the time spent on me.all that you've done.all that we've done.i am happy.that you dont have to worry. =)

i see myself getting hurt sooner or later.but lets just forget about it.

im supposed to be uploadin pics.but as usual,i'll be procrastinating.i just finished with the expenses of the birthday party,which ended like dono how long ago.i've done it.but well,this is the final one. ;)

i'll be going to the office tomoro.and meeting Sya.like,finally.sorry i keep postponing it.me and pakcik will see you tomorrow ok sayang?(i can just imagine his reaction everytime i call you this :))

and darls.sorry if i never answer any calls or reply msges.i've been leaving my hp in the locker in my office these few days to just not bother about some ppl.theres even calls,msges,emails.even this morning while im slping.not that i mind much.but sometimes,i do want to get away from work.everyone has a personal life besides work right?

Bangkok trip.the thought of just going away is so exciting.whats more with the darls.and before i go,people are already missing.how nice. =)

Beary Hugzzz @ |11:17 PM|

Sunday, March 16, 2008

i didnt do much work this weekend.it feels like a holiday.cos the work needs the comp,the internet,and i get really distracted once on the comp.whats more with the fam coming over and wanting to use de comp.

anyway,the other comp has internet connection da.now,less people will disturb me. =)

stayed home the whole weekend.just wanted to take a rest.last night,went out with someone for dinner,or well,supper,after his tutoring around here.he came over,parked at de back,and we walked to Mcs,since theres wireless and its 24 hrs.ate,chatted,surfed the web and watched movie previews,stumbling upon the wrong site.heh.went back at two,and seriously,i was unaware of the time.its not always i do this.anyway,the parents are out of town.hahah.

he wanted to just hang out.and as guilty as we are,its just what we needed.it feels really good,to just hang out,out of the office,away from work.

and sorry.my hp just couldnt stop beeping.that i ended up silencing it and leave everything till this morning.the msges.the calls.i dont know where all these guys come from.i feel,suffocated.and i cant afford the time to layankan their karenah if they just want to talk nonsense.ok im evil.i know. ;)

and yes.if you need me just for my help,using me for ur own need,i think i should just harden my heart and turn away from you.cos at the end of the day,i'll be de one blamed.i'll be de one you choose to hurt.

i dont need to be hurt more.

and im glad the parents are back safely,and enjoyed the trip.they're already hinting for their next trip.of course,i'll see where i'll send them to next.but what about mine?yes sweets.our Bangkok trip.they're pending on my leave.ooops... ;)

its all wrong.but we cant seem to get away.

Beary Hugzzz @ |10:00 PM|

Saturday, March 15, 2008

these few days have been..well..sort of,depressing.something happened the day before yesterday,totally got me,or well,us,off our feet.it was unexpected,totally unexpected.and after everything,i was still caught unaware of what had actually happened.and when i get to know of it,i just wished it was all just a nightmare.i didnt want it to happen.i dont want things to be the way they are.

i left the office at nearly one in the morning.took cab home,claimed from the company.i wasnt physically tired,but mentally and emotionally exhausted.i have someone there for me,just what i needed to keep me going.we dont need words to be spoken,but we know we're there for each other.

thank you. =)

Sya.you know how much i love you.how much i care for you.how much i love us being the way we are in and out of the office.the times we spent together will not be forgotten.i dont think i'll get a junior like you ever again.i wish this didnt happen.you know how we,as seniors,tried to help you,to protect you,but we failed,cause we dont have the rights to stop them.i love you sweets.we already miss you and your antics in the office.no matter what,you'll always be my dear friend.and i just hope i'll get a new junior who i can be as close to just like the both of us.take care sweetie.i pray the best for you.we believe you'll be happier off somewhere.huggs. =)

i cried on the way to the office,and in the office.my emotions were just,undescripable.they were so mixed up i dont know what to feel exactly.i wasnt feeling that good.i wasnt tired,tho the fact is i reached home early in the morning from work and have a talk with someone till five in the morning,before someone else woke me up at five plus.heh.i wasnt tired physically,no.and i am feeling all this not because of me,but because of the people around me.those people who resides in a special place in my heart.

someone made me Lemsip(is this how its spelt?) in the office yest.together with Strepsils.heh.and someone got me lunch.i feel so pampered.such a baby in the office with mummy and daddy looking out for me.and ibu came with her kids just to bring me my 5-in-1 coffee with ginseng,health biscuits,dinner.i asked him to eat the mi goreng for me cos i already ate the mi goreng bought for me fr lunch and was full.tho he had the mi goreng for lunch too but well,guys stomach can be filled more.heh.we ended sitting somewhere,with pretty view and with the music playing while having the dinner and chatting.his idea,that is.until ibu called me up and wanted to fetch me.lucky we've finished the dinner when ibu reached and i had to go off.

was supposed to send the parents off fr their holiday this morning.he wanted to pass me his key just so i could send the parents,but i dont want him to get into trouble,if anything were to happen to the car.so since the parents are just taking a cab,alright then.slept back after seeing them off,and ended up waking late when im supposed to go office.oh gosh.woke up and its already going to nine.msged him,and he ended up calling.doesnt want me to go down office since i dont seem that well.maybe we'll just meet up and do some work.but well,we'll see.

and someone pissed me off last night.for all that ive done for you,i dont expect any returns.just please change.i couldnt believe you're so proud of your mistakes,your sins.but who am i to be asking for this.up to you.its your life.but regrets wont make anything change later.

and oh.its daddy's birthday today.HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!you know how much i love you. =)

pics.i dont know where they are.hahah. ;)

Beary Hugzzz @ |12:30 PM|

Sunday, March 09, 2008

i dono why im down with flu when i woke up from the nap minutes ago.

perhaps,perhaps,its because its been so long since i went jalan2,and when i did earlier,my body just refused to fit in.heh.

i went to the office in the morning,after breakfast with mister manager.he reached earlier than me for the first time.so there he was waiting.nvm,i have always been de one waitin.bosses are off to Dubai today.i want to go Dubai too.hmmft.

since he has training and had to leave by 3 plus,we left at 2 plus when we dont want to do any more work,walked around while waiting for my parents to reach.parents came,treated them Arnold's,something daddy has been wanting to eat.i just think that the standard there is getting lower.sorry,but thats what i really feel.i grew up eating there,and the food standard i get is way lower than last time,with much higher pricing and lower quality and quantity.ok forget it.

den went Anglia with mummy since we both are on off from praying.bought clothes for ourselves,my treat.i just feel responsible for all the treatings,i feel responsible for not being able to spend the time with them like i do last time.

and yes,they're going to KL next week,my treat for them,just the two of them.

anyway.yes.work has been fine.theres a new staff who just joined a couple of days ago.under my guidance.another staff is no longer working,and since oh-so-dear mister manager told the bosses he works best with me,i have to do her work now,cause shes under him.

now people,thanks eh.but you know me.since when have i mind?and they just couldnt believe im 19 goin on 20.my junior is older than me,and she was shocked to find my age,yes i know its kinda weird having to boss,well i dont really boss,just instruct and stuffs,to someone whos supposed to be doin that to me instead,but well,im professional(go on and show that face) at work ok.age aside,post aside,whats important is we all work together. =)

Wealth Dynamics course on Thurs was a last minute thing.boss sudd asked me if i have my profile in the mornin while i was talking to mister manager,and then we both panicked and started finding my profile to print out.he couldnt find mine in his laptop,so i had to find it in my hotmail,and theres about two thousand emails in my account.gosh.i did find it tho.i didnt know i had to be there.and of course,i was the youngest.super youngest.but it was nice to be there.

btw..i went "whats this?" when i found something in my wallet while depositing some money.it was my driving license.a second later..i went.."ohh..i have driving license?"..i think im going nuts... ;)

now now.theres so much work to be done(when is there no work for me?heh),and time check is 1.21 in the morning.its Sunday.back to the office tmr.i thought i was just there a couple of hours ago?ok so yes,office has become first home.haha.and theres so much to think.of the people around me.i feel so guilty.im wondering if im doing the right things.

is there any way i could help everyone?

Beary Hugzzz @ |1:25 AM|

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

ok a lil of work done.

unexpected chats.

and now im caught in the middle.

a couple of hours to sleep.

and now i just remember i have to open up the office tomorrow.unless mister manager comes earlier.

ok.thanks for both of your confessions.i dont know what to feel now.

Beary Hugzzz @ |3:20 AM|

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Nita's birthday picnic at BG just ended.

alhamdulillah,everything went on fine.just a change of venue,but i guess its for the better.

darl,i hope you're happy. :)

thanks to all involved in the event. =)

marketing.admin.IT.BMW.XL.YESCOM.now where do i fit all this in.24 hours a day is insufficient.working 20 hours a day is not enough.i wonder how it'll be if i even take a day off work.they said im energizer.and dont know how it'll be without me.two months of working has made me one of the senior,and truth be told,i dont know how i ended up here.

Thurs has to be the worst day so far in the office.and God knows how mentally exhausted we are,if physically is not enough.but i wasnt really affected.Sya,you know i'll always be there for you.huggs sweetie. =)

and to you who rented a car just to fetch and send me home,cause yes,you dont take pillion,thank you.can i have it everyday?heh. ;)

ok ok.now back to work.i know i know.tak habis habis.

take care sweets. =)

Beary Hugzzz @ |9:38 PM|

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