Name : ShiQiN Nick : miraClesept Age : 20 D.O.B : 020988 horoscope : VirgO Zodiac: dragOn Email : ... School: insyaAllah i'll go back to sch when the time is right
Loves
Him(God)
FaM
my DarLs in Shuqun,AES,MI & BMC
colleagues in BNP-BMW
=)
after i left the boss office at nearly eleven last night,everything seems different.
the meeting makes me feel like theres really a heavy burden on my shoulders.i've made a move on marketing,and i have to be in-charge of a few projects.ouh well.good luck to me. ;)
but however,i feel happy,excited,all the good feelings mixed into one.heh.
and Su,you have been a great colleague.perhaps mentor too.i will miss having you around and the times we travel together.all the best for your studies. =)
sis hasnt uploaded the pics.so,sorry for not inserting any pics.
been busy.but thanks to certain people for leaving me to focus on my priorities.
i still couldnt believe im the most vocal(noisiest!) in the office.so i am.everyone thought so.hahah.
more PODS please.and more nice food.den we share share ok Sha and mister manager? ;)
Beary Hugzzz @ |10:31 PM|
Sunday, January 27, 2008
besides the tiredness,the pains really irritates me.
anyway.thank you Syida gf for the time spent yest.and thank you dear cuzzie for the seafood treat.tho we have a family gathering nearly every week,this week is great cos it brings everyone together,tho my mood wasnt as good cos the pains.
work tomorrow.i really hope i can pull it thru this whole busy week.
and today.i was thinking of what i said.and the memories.the used-to-bes.i miss your presence.i think i do.but theres no room for that. i'll make sure pics will be up on the next post.my blog has been so,wordy.pics paint a thousand words.but still it doesnt show the true feelings of a person.
how true.
Beary Hugzzz @ |11:12 PM|
Friday, January 25, 2008
the number of people calling and faxing specially for Shiqin was on the rise today when i was busy with the interview that was held this afternoon.and that hasnt include my personal work-to-do and biz calls and msges on my hp from well,members.sometimes i seriously have no idea where they get my name from.even outsiders from other companies call to ask for me,and i'll be a blur queen.i couldnt remember everyone,their names and their looks.theres too many.
i lost track of time,date and day.i totally forget today is Friday,and office is close tomorrow.and i happily tell someone its alright if he wants to come down tomorrow morning,and thank God he reminded me tomorrow was Sat.gosh.
i get to go home after Maghrib today.thanks Sya fr wanting to do the translation at home.i had work pending,and i hate,well,dislike pending work cause it'll just pile up and everything will be in a mess then.end of the month.things are getting more hectic,but insyallah,i hope everything settle by next week.
i get to come into the office late today.was supposed to go to Sheraton Towers fr de breakfast seminar but its too early.yesterday's seminar was alright,hectic at first but then it was alright.many eyes were looking at me cause i was with the blazer,and i wonder if i look real weird in it.and someone said my face is like a student.well i was one.cant i look professional as a working adult?heh.
more Sheraton events that i have to attend.and more new staffs are coming in.i hope they'll really be of help.
and thanks daddy fr fetching me these few days.even if its just at the station.your fetch is greatly appreciated. =)
and thanks bosses fr de lunch treat this afternn. :)
and.theres actually people who comes into my office and hope i'll end up with their sons.and,nevermind.i dont mix work and personal matters.i'm happy being the single me,with noone to care about in particular and noone that'll affect my mood tremendously. ;)
maybe we should stop being like how we are.i dont want anyone to get hurt in this mess. whatever happens is to His will.it is difficult to accept,but ada hikmah di sebalik semuanya.life is not filled with only sweetness,so i'll just swallow the bitterness of it all and move on.there's no room in being sorry for myself,and theres no room for hatred nor regret.i'll take the blame,if that'll make everyone happy.
Beary Hugzzz @ |10:18 PM|
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
its one of those nights.all the feelings mixed in one and you dont know what exactly you want to do or should do.i reached home about half an hour ago,feeling it was still early until i took out my watch at Lakeside and realized it was past ten.that late?i was halau-ed by mister manager to leave the office.heh.i brought work home,but here i am blogging. ;)
i just feel like blogging.letting off..well,i dont know what.i am tired,i dont know why ive been feeling so tired these few days.it'll start right from the morning,losing a lil in the afternoon before it returns soon.someone said i havent been getting a good sleep,a good rest.perhaps yes.but i dont really mind that.i have two mugs of coffee every morning,one at home and one at work.but of course,as usual,there's no effect.i've been skipping lunch but i realized i've been worrying too many people,so i decided to take a lil something.why dont i take lunch?cos i'll get too too sleepy.hah. =)
tonight.tho tired,my mind wandered off after i saw something.memories came flooding,my eyes watered in the train.i tried to focus my attention on listening to the blasting music in my ears,before it died on me after a few steps from Lakeside.serve me right for being too lazy to even charge it.haiz.
i'm trying to avoid someone.i guess i have to be cold.its difficult,but since i've made a decision,then i have to be strong and overcome it myself.i am sorry.but if pain doesnt come now,it'll come later.so might as well.
ok.i guess i better go do some work.i've just msged my junior telling her not to do any work at home and asked her to just eat and then sleep.i couldnt bear to make things hard for her.i have a good senior,so i hope i could be a good senior for her too.hahah. =)
seminar at Sheraton Towers on Thurs night and breakfast seminar on Friday.seven in the morning at Sheraton.now the car offer seems really tempting.
not now Shiqin.enjoy your time walking to and fro Lakeside for now.and i really appreciate daddy sending me off to Lakeside,well,nearly every morning.thank you,daddy.and thank you mummy for coming all the way down to meet me for lunch yesterday.you know i love you. ;)
and tonight.i think of you.knowing you're fine,i breathe a sigh of relief.
Beary Hugzzz @ |11:37 PM|
Sunday, January 20, 2008
i've just read someone's blog.my eyes watered,my feelings are all mixed up.i've expected this to come.since the first time i have a feeling this will happen.
that's why i dont want to be close with guys.single or attached.and now it seems like its all my fault.i didnt want this happen too.but it just happened and i tried,and am trying not to.i dint want to hurt you.not at all.cos you're a friend.a good friend.my friend.
so tell them not to fall for me.
anyway.i am really tired.but since i havent blogged for quite a while,i decided to update.been reaching home late this whole week.Wed and Fri were spent in mister manager's room using his laptop to do my work.i like being in his room where i am not so distracted by many things.with comfy chair and being closer to the radio.hahah.Friday there was only us left in the office,together with the presentation people.he kept coming in and asking me to go home cause he was really worried i couldnt hold on anymore.hahah.
there are times i felt i couldnt make it home cause my eyes will be super blur and and my head will be spinning.i have to coaxed my legs to keep moving.heh.
and yesterday,i spent the whole day infront of the comp working til early this morning.he kept reminding me to stop,eat and sleep.but i couldnt cos i've gone beyond the dateline.my head was spinning so bad,and i felt like vomiting.
alhamdulilah.i made it through. =)
too many people are being too concerned.not that i dislike it or am angry.it just shows how much they love me.and i appreciate that.everytime things get a lil difficult,his words will come running through my mind.i can make it on my own.i dont need you,nor any other guy.and i can handle hardships,something you thought i could never handle.
someone was saying how tired she has been for leaving work at 8 and reaching home at seven.what about me?leaving home at past seven and reaching home past midnight?everyone has their own life.not just you.
and one morning in the train i bumped into her and her bf.i wasnt really sure it was her until i saw her bf.so ok,it was her.so shes much better than me cause shes better in her studies?cause she went to a better madrasah,and cause her mum drives?and i am bad cause i took off my tudung during the bbq and wore it back after that to go home while she doesnt even wear at all now?and i didnt know a better girl than me will behave that way in the train,a packed train.so now i know.a better girl than me means behaving that intimately with a guy infront of others.and it was hard for me cause they were just infront of me and when i looked up i'll see her looking at me and when our eyes meet she'll get even more intimate like pressing her body closer with her bf.oh girl,i so tak heran with you and your bf.seriously.plus the fact that i was so sleepy.heh.
daddy woke me up in the morning just to ask me what colour paint i want for my room.he asked if i wanted pink and i said ok.in the end theres no pink so i chose green.heh.so now who's going to volunteer in painting my room?voluntary work will be greatly appreciated.hahah.
payday..when will you come?im nearly broke from clearing my bank for investment.hahah.i want to go shopping,or atleast,spending the time in the malls.i havent been doing that at all since i start working.gosh.hoping i'll have the time tho.and sorry gfs cause i keep cancelling our dates cause of my work.
ok.now where should we go darling?KL,Malacca or some other places?i'll go do my research first now ok.heh. =)
Beary Hugzzz @ |4:44 PM|
Sunday, January 13, 2008
i didnt realize i'd been living in 2005 these few days until this morning when i saw the time of a missed call.i just refused to let my mind wander back to 2005,cause theres too much memories there,and the time isnt right to do some reminiscing.
when i realized its 13th Jan,i realized its Farhad's birthday as well.when i came online minutes ago,i saw him online,and without a second thought i wished him happy birthday.as he thanked me,he wished me happiness in return,and asked me to take care.i dont know why,but tears welled up in my eyes,and i asked him to take care too and wish that his O's results will be very satisfying.
no mention of his bro at all.the guy i've loved with all my heart.
i dont know why.but i feel really tired today.my eyes hurt,and my head hurts even more.i had my feelings hurt when i reached home from Nita's place.i cried myself to sleep for a few mins till i get a call and my cuzs came over.my lil darling boy makes my day.
and.my dear bestfriend lost her dad this morning due to a heart attack.all i wanted was to be there for her.its painful losing a loved one,that i know.Nita darling,be strong alright sweetheart?you know i'll always be here for you.the best thing we can do now is pray for your dad.semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.Amin. this is the first weekend i dont have to go to the office,tho i have to go to the bank to do some transactions.i miss the office.oh how could i?hahah.
i wanted to post some pics.but i couldnt even find the pics in my hp.hmmph.
Tuhan berikan sinar harapan Hembuskan suatu kekuatan Kumohon jauhkan dari kegelapan ini Agar bisa aku teruskan Walaupun lelah untuk menghadapi Mengalah bukan jawapan yang ada Walaupun berat segala di dada Ku pasti mengharungi keakhirnya Tiada guna bertanya semua yang terjadi Janjiku kepada diri hidup harus aku teruskan Tuhan berikan sinar harapan Hembuskan suatu kekuatan Ku hanya insan yang kerdil di dunia ini Tunjukkan ku jalan hadapan
Beary Hugzzz @ |10:54 PM|
Thursday, January 10, 2008
because i wanted the best for my friends.
someone told me earlier on only God knows my kindness,and only Him will return me what i am deserving of.it wasnt the first time he said it to me.i know.insyaAllah He will.
if i have to sacrifice my feelings,the happiness,and go through the pain,i will.just to make sure i dont hurt anyone.and i am fine.i've been through it times and again,and whats going through it again right?
anyway.night class was cancelled today.we ended going Geylang for a lil shopping.so i angkut the stuffs home like one makcik baru balik pasar Geylang(indeed i was la).with red pasar plastic bags.heh.cramped inside the peak-hour train.but the topic home was interesting with the two other girls.got a lil molested by this idiot beside me.he kept pressing his hand on my side.so i stiffen my hand so all he get to feel was my hand.he kept pressing.but i was tired so i refused to get up just to avoid him.then when he wanted to get off at Jg East,his hand was on mine(i really tried to avoid but its not that simple you know in a packed train),stood,looked at me,and gave me this sheepish smile.idiot.
ok i have some work to settle.just helping out with the admin staffs for now.brought work home so i could focus on other stuffs tomorrow.yeah right.focus?hahah.
thanks anyway for the brownie kukus from Bandung bosses.besides being really pretty,they taste really nice too.yummy~ =)
Beary Hugzzz @ |9:14 PM|
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
cause i dont want to be happy at the expense of someone else's sadness.
whatever it is,i'll leave it to Him to path the way for me,for us.
my feelings for guys are too blend right now.i dont know why i feel really disgusted with guys.but with him it feels..no its just not right.
i want to leave the office late and lied just to save myself from being fetched.its not that i dislike being fetched,bt not by someone i dont want to be fetched from.
i find myself evil.how could i do this to one guy after another?but what can i do?my heart doesnt beat that happy beat with them.i'm sorry alright?
its not cause i still love the guy i've loved for all these years.he's no longer who he was in my heart.i dont love him like i did the past months.i hardly think of him,seriously.
and now i'm entangled in another...well,whatever they call it.
it was fun at work today.especially when theres only the three of us left.i dont know why i havent been able to control my laughter in the office.this is so unlike me.
i HAVE to go out earlier tomorrow.i've been reaching late and its really a bad example for the new staffs.hahah.but well,theres night class tomorrow.woohoo.i'll be ending work late?good.
crazy me.but whatever just so i can get myself away from certain people.hah. ;)
Beary Hugzzz @ |8:48 PM|
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
another day of coming home early.well atleast before midnight.i have to answer 101 qns when i cme home early..and answer as many qns when i cme home late.heh.
today was ok.i was the last to reach office.haha.took my own sweet time.and when i just placed my bag the director called to ask for me.lucky.hahah.she passed me good news,exceptionally one good news.great.i'm not too sure if she's already in Bandung then.
i thought it'll be easier if i have assistants.but it wasnt really easy.i have to guide them,and settle my own stuffs as well.alot of work pending tomorrow.i should sleep once i get everything settled for now.
driving.i need to go for a drive.i know.i am finding the time but i see none for now.i may have to work in the weekends again and late on weekdays.so driving just have to be put aside.
its true they say when you have money you wont have time.ouh well.i dont have money and dont have time.can?haha.
and he started msgin me.was it my fault?ok whatever.and take him away from my mind.we cant be together.
too many praises and compliments.i hope i wont swell.hahah.
i love working with the people in the office.i love being in the office when...nvm.bye.
Beary Hugzzz @ |9:29 PM|
Monday, January 07, 2008
its been a whole week of working.Mon-Sun.and everyday is really busy.Fri there was interview from two plus til seven plus.and it wasnt as simple as it looks.lunch and dinner was catered for the meeting on Sat,and there was so much leftover i had to carry the heavy stuffs home.thanks daddy for not wanting to fetch me.heh.and Sun.it was well,ok.we had breakfast at Hajah Maimunah,rushed back office without the supposedly meeting.Mr Saiful,Su and me left last and had dinner at Mcs.sponsored,good.hahah.
i'm supposed to come to office at 11 today.or anytime i want to actually.cause he said i needed the rest.seriously last night i was really tired,my eyes could barely open.but when i reached home there was my darling boy.but he was already going home.i carried him for a while,barely having the energy,.how i miss that sweetheart.but everytime i look at him he'll remind me of someone else.and my heart will just...oh nvm.
i ended leaving home about the usual time today,slightly later.he msged in the morning saying i had to reach the office early for a meeting.which was cancelled cause there was insufficient time.but i did hav a lil meetin wif him.heh.
today.bosses had meeting outside.so manager let us off early.told me to end work at 5 plus and go home.i stopped working at six plus and left with Su and Natasha.oh ya.theres two staffs who just joined us.and one of them is supposed to be my assistant.ok good.thank you.the office is livelier,more packed,and i laughed like crazy just now.
theres super nice customers and the opposites.i'll just try not to bother the opposites.
and im thinkin of how much money i want to invest.and time is running out before the dateline.uhh.
i dont expect my feelings to be entangled.but it's all in God's hands.even if i've set my mind,if thats what He wants,it'll happen.it happenned all of a sudden i dont even know when or where it begins.but i dont dare to even think of it.i dont want to hurt anyone,and i dont want to be hurt either.whatever it is,i am sorry.
God,take this feeling away.it is just not right.
Beary Hugzzz @ |9:47 PM|
Thursday, January 03, 2008
we had alot to do today.i tried to clear one to-do in my diary,but i still fail after spending nine hours in the office today.that too with Su buying lunch for me(mister manager belanje la eh.save.hehe.) and having lunch infront of the comp.so you can just imagine how much work is pending on my to-do list.and everyday they have to be brought forward and everyday the space to breathe seems thinner for me.heh.
no wonder i even wrote the amount of money in the receipt wrongly and didnt realize part of the money was still in the envelope.ouh gosh.it really was a tiring day in the office.i dont know why.already i forgot my hp which was left at home.then theres bubbles on my inner lips which really hurts when i drink.and my finger bled from paper cut.hmmph.
but still,i think Su and me are two very grateful people today.why?
cause we get to leave the office at six plus.woohoo.for the first time,besides Christmas eve where i met the gfs,i get to leave when the sun is stil visible.well,its setting tho.other than that,we dont get the chance to leave till the whole building is dark and really quiet.
its nice to be back with the crowd.but i still prefer the lesser people in the train at the usual time,cos i get to sit after a tiring day,and the quiet walk home in the wee hour of midnight is calmer.
thanks mister manager for letting us off early(can i say u forced me actually?) before the bosses cme in. =)
so my whole fam was shocked to see me home early.now thats what i get.last time they're not use to not having me around the house,now they're surprised when they do see me around before midnight.hahah.
but yes.i brought home the important unfinished work cause i couldnt bear to let mister manager finish it for me.and yes,i've done it and sent it to him as well.thank God i have a new comp and its super reliable.
Su and mister manager,thank you for all the help in the office,and for the lunches and dinners.and the belanjas of course. ;)
i am sooo looking forward for Saturday and Sunday.yes,i have to work.this is sooo fun isnt it?such sarcasm.hahah.
i am not complaining.*shakes head*.ouh well.someone couldnt wait to see me anyway.it will be a good weekend won't it?
at one point of time,you'll learn to appreciate every little thing in your life.both the goods and the bads.
good night people.
Beary Hugzzz @ |10:31 PM|
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! =)
ok so here comes 2008.fast isnt it?i still remember exactly what i did a year ago.i spent the whole day shopping with someone.everything is different now.its undeniable.since its the new year,lets not dwell on it shall we?
live and let live.cause He decides everything and know whats best for us.
no time for emotional pangs nor outbursts.no time for relationships that doesnt fall under family or friendship.no time for this,and no time for that.i dont really know when the busy-ness will end.heh.
i reached home at nearly one from work last night.or well,this morning.New Year was spent in the train.this time,thank God i was with Su.and while walking home from Lakeside,bumped into ibu and fam so they sent me home.actually,the wanted to fetch me from the stn,but they were a lil late.hah.
"other people work,but not like you."oh save me.i've heard that too many times.
yest was just super busy cos its the last day for the project.i was busy handling the people,the forms,the money,despite the numbers of people calling and askin for me.my work that was piled up since last week was left abandoned,and by the time i left the office at eleven plus last night,the pile of work on my desk has turned nearly ten times the amount.you think i am exaggerating?i wish i am too.
but no complaints.cause it wont change matters.
well.the people were nice.they called me "cik puan",cos i was the onli female around then.wanted me to get the best seat,with coffee,and didnt want me to be stressed out.my manager,as usual,was worrying i might collapse anytime.which times and again i have to convinced him i was fine.he kept coming into the room to check out on me,adjusting the air con and everything to suit my need.and it seems like i am the boss then,i asked him around to get me stuffs.haha.he forced me to take dinner after i said i dint want to,cos he already forced me to eat the food they bought me in the afternoon,and then forced me to take the LJS dinner which they've bought me in the office,tho i still have work to do.
thank you anyway mister.you yourself were busy with your work but you made an effort to be there for me.your concern is greatly appreciated.
now who said i'm not happy?being tired doesnt really matter.i really want to move on.
and theres this aunt who wanted to kenalkan me with this guy.i just smiled it off.and someone asked me,"bila Shiqin nak kahwin".i went.."HUH??APER??"(half screaming) and stared at him.i was just shocked.and someone asked me where i'm going to celeb new year.i told him i'm working till late and he said couldnt be that late?who says.haha.i turned down my friends invitation cause i dont wanna promise not knowing if i could make it or not.again,i am sorry loves.
with all the busyness in the office,my feelings are stil intact.at new year's eve,i was working in the office.when 2008 strikes i am just on the way home.i am happy,but theres like something missing.no,i wont deny it.afterall,i am just a normal human being.
and today i am supposed to go out with darl.i do want to go for another shopping.but i dont know why the tiredness is lingering so strongly and my eyes and head is super heavy.sorry yah.soon.i will make time real soon.i really do want to de-stress you know.and bring back that word-slacking,back in the dictionary of my life.i miss walking around the malls and get tempted by pretty lil things,and of course,Coffee Bean sessions.hahah.
i still have yet to come up with 2008's resolution.anyway,all the best for the new year loves. =)
