Name : ShiQiN Nick : miraClesept Age : 20 D.O.B : 020988 horoscope : VirgO Zodiac: dragOn Email : ... School: insyaAllah i'll go back to sch when the time is right
Loves
Him(God)
FaM
my DarLs in Shuqun,AES,MI & BMC
colleagues in BNP-BMW
=)
i cld finally breathe properly..de suffocation is gone..4 gd..my fear hav bin swept away..thanx darlin..thanx so much 4 bein der 4 mi..assuring mi dat wat i tink is juz my imagination..lyk wat i read in de mag..beliv in ur feelings..nt ur tinkin..n sorie dear i wasted ur time makin u listen 2 mi pourin out de contents of my heart..n guess my eyes r feelin beter..dey wer bad yest..even my grandma said my eyes wer smaller..yalah..dey r usually big...
guess its all due 2 my PMS..seriously..i hav a bad case of PMS..ppl gotta beware wen i hav it..xpecialy my boi..he's so pitiful..gotta stand wif dis..i wonder hw much further he can stand w/o breakin down..guess he aready is..i hate dis sickness..bt i juz gotta bear wif it..n so du de ppl arnd mi..de med juz wont work..wel..it doesnt..so far..its nt a joke..coz tings cld get realie bad at times..i cant cntrl it..my head wil b ruling my heart..n ruling mi s wel..i'll get depression..trust mi..n dats exactly wat happened recently..guess dis mth its juz worse den usual..ppl cant realie c it..coz de sickness was kept wel inside of mi..i tried nt 2 let it show..i juz cant let ppl noe hw dangerous i can b at times..seriously..its nt a joke..dis is my blog..n i hav all de rite 2 write my innermost feelins n tots..tho nt all of my secrets...
im so happie i finished my maths..haha..pushed myself 2 du it..realie..bt i took long 2 finish it up..no doubt abt dat..atleast i make an effort 2 du it..til de last qn..tho i did skip a few qns..n thanx 2 my quite hse..haha..since sme of my fam members went out..n of coz dat inc my fat bro..i cld hav peace n quiet at last..2gether wif de whole living rm n tv..n it seriously helps mi calm down..tho i did break down 4 a short while juz nw..dono y..bt don wana tok abt it...
i finally cme 2 accept de wae my life is..n dat inc my r/s..yar..i cant poss hav everythg gg my wae..i cant poss hav everythg dat i wan..bt by tryin 2 accept n understand tings..i realize i'll b much much happier..no use gettin angry..coz at de end of de dae..it'll onli hurt mi..n hurt others s swel..i'll try 2 giv in mor..try 2 understand mor..n most importantly..show de ppl i love hw much i love dem..coz ders definately nthg wrong in loving others..n neva wld i wan dem 2 doubt my love..n 2 tink i don love dem wen i'm even willing 2 sacrifice my life n happiness juz 4 deirs...
Beary Hugzzz @ |8:12 PM|
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
i dono wat i shld begin wif..wat de hel is wrong wif mi..wel..everythg!!practically everythg!!dis few daes bin real bad..bad 2 de xtreme dat i dono wat 2 du..i hate talkin 2 ppl abt my probs..unless im sure dey understand..i juz hate it wen i tok abt my probs n ppl r lyk..4get it..tho my frens wil always b der 2 listen..i stil don wana trouble dem n bug dem wif my probs..dey hav deir own life..n i hav mine..bt hw much longer m i suppose 2 keep dis feelings inside of mi..i always sae im gonna break down..bt i beliv im nt weak 2 dat xtent..n oh yar..sidetrack abit..yest o'level paper was..no comments..i wish i cld meet up 2 mummy's xpectations..bt if i cant..im realie sorie..coz i don find de paper s easy s others find it...
2dae..amazingly..i went straight hme..yup..reached hme at 11+..tho i wasted my time takin 178 til boon lay n took 187 frm der..bt hu cares..im stil early..tot of gg smewer 2 ease my mind..bt guess it was a bad idea afterall..he said he gonna meet his friend at marsiling..at 11..i dono hw true is dat..im sorie dear..i wish i cld realie trust u..bt i juz hav de feelin dat u r lyin 2 mi..2 cut it short..i don tink u're meetin ur fren..bt i made it..i din quarrel wif him 2dae..wen he said he gonna meet his fren..i was lyk..oh..ok..wer?n i dono y i asked 4 wat..n he said lepak-lepak..wel..wateva it is..im kinda hurt wen he said hisap rokok..n etc..i donwan 2 listen 2 dat..im hapie i din ask him wich frens..atleast i can cntrl myself by nt askin him dat..i don wana cntrl any1's life..xpecialy his..i bugged him 2 get off de bus at bt batok bt he donwan 2..so i said bye in advance wen reachin de jg east bustop..let him live his own life..if he wans 2 meet his frens n du wateva it is..its all up 2 him..he's no longer a kid..he's aready so big..i bet he noes wat 2 du...
smethg has bin botherin mi since de last few daes..4 goodness sakes..it hurts..my nites r no longer peaceful..im feelin so much pain n hurt..n i dono y..juz yest nite i hav a realie bad dream..smethg wich scares de hel out of mi..wat is happenin..y m i feelin dis wae..y m i feelin dat smethg is nt rite..y cant i get rid of de feelin wich tels mi he no longer loves mi..he's lyin 2 mi..y m i feelin dis wae..i keep prayin dat hist wont repeat itself..im so scraed it wil..i keep prayin dat if anythg lyk dat shld happen..let it happen wen tings r stil under cntrl..de past has brought mi fear..2 much fear..2 much worries..i hope tings wil b fine soon..b realie fine..coz i can stand dis feelin no longer..its 2 heavy a weight 4 my heart..n its 2 painful 4 my soul...
